


My Mind's Shipwrecked

by ImpulsivelyBlue



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Azkaban, Book 3: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Gen, Metaphor, Sirius in Azkaban, Time - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-02
Updated: 2015-02-02
Packaged: 2018-03-10 02:28:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3273389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImpulsivelyBlue/pseuds/ImpulsivelyBlue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes when he was in Azkaban Sirius imagined time as an hourglass, after a while he wanted so badly to smash that hourglass, to watch the glass shatter and the sand spill. It was at that point that he realised that he wasn't going to get out of the hell he had found himself in by patiently counting days, months, years until someone came for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Mind's Shipwrecked

\---

Sometimes when he was in Azkaban Sirius imagined time as an hourglass, after a while he wanted so badly to smash that hourglass, to watch the glass shatter and the sand spill. It was at that point that he realised that he wasn't going to get out of the hell he had found himself in by patiently counting days, months, years until someone came for him. 

He was tired of counting and measuring, sometimes he would launch himself a the walls, half hearted scratches decorating the cold stone, counting down the days or adding them up he couldn't remember anymore. 

Sometimes he imagined that the wall was the hourglass before he swung back his arm in a weak mockery of a punch, imagining cracks splintering and crawling across the wall like a spiders web, he thinks he can hear the sand falling and it makes him feel like he's drowning, choking on all of the time he didn't realise he was throwing away. 

Sometimes he hopes that he will drown, pushed down to the ground and crushed under the weight of every 'what if' and 'it would have' and 'could have' that swirled around his reckless thoughts in a dizzying manner before he pulled himself back from the edge. He would have his could haves when he got out, he had a rat to catch and a godson to take care of, if he could only get to Harry, he tells himself, then he would have all of the time in the world. 

\---

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Twenty One Pilots 'Migraine' -
> 
> "I am not as fine as I seem, pardon,  
> Me for yelling, I'm telling you green gardens,  
> Are not what's growing in my psyche, it's a different me,  
> A difficult beast feasting on burnt down trees,  
> Freeze frame please, let me paint a mental picture portrait,  
> Something you won't forget, it's all about my forehead,  
> And how it is a door that holds back contents,  
> That make Pandora's Box's contents look nonviolent,  
> Behind my eyelids are islands of violence,  
> My mind's shipwrecked, this is the only land my mind could,  
> Find, I did not know it was such a violent island,  
> Full of tidal waves, suicidal crazed lions,  
> They're trying to eat me, blood running down their chin,  
> And I know that I can fight or I can let the lion win,  
> I begin to assemble what weapons I can find,  
> 'Cause sometimes to stay alive you got to kill your mind."


End file.
